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Nabi Shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam bersabda dalam haditsnya:

“Dunia ini adalah perhiasan dan sebaik-baik perhiasannya adalah wanita yang shalihah. Bila engkau memandangnya, ia menggembirakan (menyenangkan)mu. Bila engkau perintah, ia menaatimu. Dan bila engkau bepergian meninggalkannya, ia menjaga dirinya (untukmu) dan menjaga hartamu.”

Sabtu, 19 Februari 2011

Why Get Married?


It was at night after we enjoy watched a Chinese film at cinema. My two friends and I spent some time at Kuala Lumpur City Center(KLCC)'s garden.
We didn't expect that the film will finished early. It was around ten o'clock.
As the night still early, we decided to get some relax for a while before we took the LRT and went back to our campus - International Islamic University Malaysia (IIUM).
We had discussed a lot of things and as a Muslim that still youth we cannot run from having a discussion about marriage.
Who doesn't want to get married, to have the beloved one who always close to us, having cute babes that we will nurture them to be a good person?
For  a normal human being, I believe most people have these dreams.
It is interesting when I heard my friend said,
"I don't know why I suppose to have a girlfriend now. I had a girlfriend before but we split up. After that, I don't even try to find the new one. For me, looking for partner means looking for marriage. So,  why I suppose to find one if I don't have the capabilities to get married yet, no? I'm still studying. No job, no money, no my own house. Maybe in the future, at the moment I've everything and ready to have a family, I will start find one. My mother also said the same thing".
I replied to him,
"That's why I always told myself that our life based on three things:
Where we come from? Where we are now? And where are we going to in the future? I'm not talking about akhirat, I'm talking  specifically about the worldly affair. About our dream for future."

Getting Married? Why?

"Ok, today we are going to have public speaking.
So, some of you will have come in front talk about a certain topic.
The topic of today is about marriage. We will see how you feel to be in front of people and speak."
My English lecturer spoke loudly. Luckily, I was the chosen one to speak in front of the class.
It may seems that I'm quite nervous more than other students in row at the back and maybe thats why he pointed me out.
I walked to the front anxiously. Then, I  try to speak out my mind.
"For me, there are three things that people must have in their mind before they get married and why they need to get married. Insya-Allah, if they have these things in their mind, their marriage will be fine, even if there is problem a couple will able to handle.  
First, we get married because it is a human requirement. It is a human nature that we can't deny. We need to love others and at the same time, we need also somebody to love us.  Also, marriage is the way that Allah has bestowed upon us for us to fulfill our sexual requirement. Our partner is halal(legal) for us.  
Secondly, we get married for the purposes of continuation the human being. Once you get married, you will plan to have children. Then, when your children get married, they also will plan for having children. So that, the human race will not perish from the planet's earth.
Thirdly, we get married as it is the process towards good civilization. If we trace back the history of any civilization, you will see and understand that the core of civilization is the society. And the core of society is family. So, by have the marriage, having a husband, a wife, children and nurture them to be good person, it means we built a good family and human resources that will benefit the society, the ummah."
Everyone silence. I'm not sure whether they understand me or not.
I finished my public speaking with a relief.
A relief because it is not easy for me to speak in front of people, but I still able to delivered my ideas.
Now, let me explain to you  more about the three general things that I have mentioned that is a MUST for a Muslim youth to comprehend once they have the intention to get married.

First, marriage is human requirement

Human characteristics can be divided into two, humanism and animalism.
Humanism related to feeling of love, caring, responsibility while the sexual relationship is a part of the animalism.
These two states are requirements in human life, and the correct way to fulfill them has been described by Islam.
Marriage is the only way that Islam has enjoined in making the life of man and woman to be in lawful union that also based on the mutual consent.
The purpose of marriage is to foster a state of tranquility and compassion for the couple, providing a lawful means to enjoy the sexual pleasure.
It is the nature of mankind that Allah has created for human to have such desire against the opposite sex and also to seek comfort and love.
Thus, halal(legal) relationship not only will safeguard procreation(generasi) but also make the person into the state of tranquility and peace by giving and receiving love from the spouse.
Second, continuity of human being and Third, for the sake of good civilization.
I always ask myself,
If I leave this world, what the valuable thing should I left to the world? What the thing that I should inherited to this planet?
The thing will give the better future of the world?
After had a long thought, I got the answer.
Yes!, it is children.
The children are one of the best thing that we can inherit to the world. Inherit the children to the world means we are providing something for the future - a people with ability to develop human race and country and at the same time not to  put aside the Islamic rules.
The future Muslim that understand their purpose of creation as the khalifah of Allah, thus every of their action will reflect their roles.
Nevertheless, in order to inherit the children to the world is not easy as we may thought. Of course, to have it is 'easy' but to educate and nurture them to be a good Muslim can be very challenging and  a great task to the parents.
While the world has changed and children are more likely to influence by environment, internet, television and friends, the way of nurturing the children could be different from the past 50 years, but the basis is the same, that is Islam must be the core principle.
The best and the first 'product' ever been produced by human being was not the car or airplane or building or rocket or train but the human being itself! - a baby.
While those things required years of research and development before it can be produced, a baby can be produced by any mature mankind, but yet still it is complex creation and miracles in the eyes of human regarding Allah's creation.
Therefore, if you have chance to have it, please make sure you have it in the right way.
The way that allowed by Islam.
With the respect to current situation, many of babies have been produced in the wrong way, and being treated like animals (or maybe more worse than that!) - being through away in river, being left in the mosque and not to say is through away like rubbish in dumpsite.
Subhanallah. Oh! Mankind, why are you so cruel?

Conclusion

The whole idea of this article is to provide the reader a general idea of the concept of marriage in Islam.
By interpret the concept of marriage as a whole; we can become more aware of our responsibilitoes as a husband, a father, a mother and not to forget our indirect responsible to the future of Muslim and the world.
I always have the fear whenever I see the current condition of society, while the zina (adultery) become normal, the baby dumping happening almost every day and the divorce amongst young couple at alarming rate.
If this continues and keeps increasing, without any proactive action not only by government but also society, the future of the Muslim is uncertain and will be ruined.
"Husband to be respect, Wife to be protect, Children to be nurture, Life to be savior."

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